A day of pondering

Sometimes I, as a mother, don't feel very strong or powerful. I don't feel like I am waking up everyday and living my life to the fullest. I feel like I am just skimming the surface and holding on by the skin of my teeth.

Other days, I wake up with a smile on my face. My son seems to be happier these days too. I take a shower and put makeup on. I breathe the air and I feel happy. I can accomplish things these days and I feel like I can to anything. I love these days!

I wish I knew exactly what happened when I was sleeping, to control whether I get up and am happy or I drag myself out of bed. It makes me wonder if it has to do with my diet, or my sleep patterns, or even my dreams. My diet is not the same. I will not be hungry for anything sometimes and others I will crave junk. Sometimes I crave salad and healthy food. I haven't noticed whether or not it affected me when I wake up in the mornings. I try to have a good sleep routine. I get about 9 hours of sleep a night. I'd say that is pretty good for a mother of a toddler.

I found some information about the impact that the food you eat has on your body, not only your physical health but your mental as well.

Research suggests that certain foods affect mood—for better or worse. Dietary changes can trigger chemical and physiological changes within the brain that alter our behavior and emotions. "Most people understand the link between what they eat and their physical health," says registered dietitian Elizabeth Somer, author of the 2010 book Eat Your Way to Happiness. "But the link between what you eat and your mood, your energy, how you sleep, and how well you think is much more immediate. What you eat or don't eat for breakfast will have at least a subtle effect by mid-afternoon, and what you're eating all day will have a huge impact today and down the road."
-I found that here

There is another quote I found about how dreams affect moods as well;

"...dreams may affect your mood. Rather than waking up refreshed, a troubled dreamer may wake up feeling as if s/he has been in battle all night long. Moreover, these abstract, disorienting dreams can contribute to anxiety."

-see the rest of the article here

Either way, I don't want to let anything take away my good days. I need to be living my life to the fullest, and I need to be healthy, so that I may be the best mom that I can possibly be. My son is affected by my moods and so is my husband. "When mamma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"

My home needs to have a good spirit in it, and I need to figure out a way to keep that good spirit. If you have any advice for me, or you want to tell me how you figure out how to be happy everyday, despite challenges in life, PLEASE comment and let me know! I really look forward to your advice. Everyone deserves to be happy.

Thank you for reading. Happy Monday! I hope you have a wonderful week.

What makes you laugh?

Things that make me laugh out loud (lol)

1. I hate flies because they are dirty and they like to fly in my face and make that buzzing noise! Lucas loves them because they fly in his face and make that buzzing noise. Haha. Literally makes me laugh, and him squeal in excitement and run around trying to play with them.

2. My husband. He is so silly sometimes it makes me laugh. He is my live-in comedian. :D

3. My aunt Kirsten is hilarious. And basically my whole family is pretty funny. Everyone is always laughing at something, and cracking a joke about something or other and I love being around them when they are funny!

4. My son, basically everyday. He will do something to make me laugh or he will laugh at funny noises and people's funny actions. I love to do stuff to make him giggle. I'm just waiting for that rolling giggle that I keep hearing from my friends children.

5. When something tastes off, it tastes funny. :) I just had to put this one haha. Its true though.


I think it is interesting how I often will say "thats funny" and it could mean so many different things. Oh english, how you are funny sometimes with your multiple meanings for words and phrases. You make me laugh! :)

I want to challenge you readers today, to find what makes you laugh and write them down, and look for more opportunities to laugh. Because laughter is the best medicine. As the great Joker said it, "Why so Serious?"

:D Happy Sunday, and thank you for reading!! Please comment and tell me what makes you laugh! And remember that laughter is contagious. Keep Smiling!

A Poem

 “Prayer,” by Eliza M. Hickok

I know not by what methods rare

But this I know, God answers prayer.

I know that He has given His Word,

Which tells me prayer is always heard,

And will be answered, soon or late.

And so I pray and calmly wait.

I know not if the blessing sought

Will come in just the way I thought;

But leave my prayers with Him alone,

Whose will is wiser than my own,

Assured that He will grant my quest,

Or send some answer far more blest.

Every year one week before the world wide conference, the women in my church get together (through broadcast and other such things) and have a General Relief Society Meeting. We hear from the Relief Society President and her counselors as well as our church Prophet. They give us inspirational thoughts and talk to us about key things that we can do to help us live fulfilling lives. 

Tonight was that meeting, and I attended a broadcast of it, along with some of the women of whom I go to church with directly. I really enjoyed listening to the speakers. They talked about how we can love everyone around us, and by doing this we are keeping our covenants that we have made to follow our savior, Jesus Christ. When we serve others and listen to promptings that we have to call someone or make bread for them, then we are keeping those covenants and promises. By serving others we are strengthening those around us and helping them to become happier and come back to their Heavenly Father.

Something that really stood out to me from the talks that I heard, was this quote from the scriptures: "By this ye shall know that ye shall know ye are my disciples, love one to another." When we are serving others, we are following Christ, and therefore we are the disciples of Christ. 

About the poem, our prophet quoted this when speaking about prayer. He said that Heavenly Father is there to help us and he won't leave us in the sand, we just need to be willing to ask for His help. We also need to trust that He knows what is best for us, and even though we may not see it at the time, we will come out from the storm a better person. Heavenly Father is there for us no matter what, and he loves us even if we don't deserve to be loved. 

I just wanted to share these thoughts with you. Take them as you wish, please comment if you so chose, I would love to have a productive conversation with you. If you are interested in learning more about this Meeting, or Relief Society, feel free to let me know and I would love to tell you more about what I do. :D 

Thank you for reading and Happy Saturday!

General Conference is Coming Next Week!

I just wanted to let you know that I'm really excited for General Conference. Some of you may not know what this is, exactly. Well I will tell you :)

Twice a year, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints gets together (yes the whole church from the whole world) and has a conference. This conference can be watched in many different languages and streamed live over the internet, as well as on some television stations throughout the world.

The leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, with its Quorum of the 12 Apostles, Prophets and General Authorities that are currently presiding, attend the conference. Wonderful people speak during this conference and it lasts two days. Saturday and Sunday, with two sessions each day. It is so exciting to watch and participate in. We hear from our Apostles of God and our modern-day Prophet Thomas S. Monson. They instruct us on various topics such as Faith, Prayer, Marriage, Scripture Study, Hope, and a lot more. They will announce any new temples that are being built and they give numbers of members and missionaries throughout the world. It is always exciting to go and see what they have in store for us.



One of my favorite things about going to General Conference, is that the speakers are asked to speak, and they aren't given a topic. They prayerfully decide what their talk should be about. And if I am praying to get some more help with a certain topic in my life, most of the time, someone will talk about it. I think it is really awesome how inspiration works through men and women who are looking for ways they can help those they are called to talk to and inspire.

One difficult thing that I have faced while listening to conference, is that we get to listen to this amazing world broadcast, but our children don't know how to sit still for very long. This is why I love to stream it on our TV, and let Lucas play a conference game I have found on Pinterest, or color on some coloring pages that are about conference. It all makes the whole experience more bearable. Thank you Pinterest!

So next Saturday and Sunday, we will be watching Conference, and you are more than welcome to come watch it at our house :)

I'm excited!!

Raising Awareness: BATYO

So I have been affected by this lately, and I wanted to share this blog with you. I found it quite informational and true. Please feel free to comment and tell me of your experiences or with some good advice for me :D

Raising Awareness: BATYO

My sweet angel daughter has been diagnosed with a common but often misunderstood condition known as: Being A Two Year Old.

Being A Two Year Old impacts millions of Americans and their loved ones each day.

Symptoms may include (but are not limited to):
kicking, screaming, thrashing about and/or throwing oneself on the floor in utter despair when feeling frustrated because: your mother is singing along to your favorite song, someone put a bandaid on your owie, there is another person walking on the sidewalk, the swings are currently occupied, you are currently on the swing and and want to get off, you have just been taken off the swing and want to get back on, you are wearing sleeves, you are too big to fit inside the toy bin, your dad won't let you sit on your baby brother's head, someone said the words "macaroni and cheese" and a plate of it did not instantly appear, the big block will not fit inside the little block regardless of how many times you bang it, you saw someone blowing on your oatmeal to cool it off, you want to see the ducks but you do not want to turn around and face the river, the wind is blowing the bubbles too fast to catch them, someone either is/is not looking at you and you do/don't want them to, you are alive and the floor is there -- so why not?

Symptoms of caring for a two year old include:
extended periods of deep breathing, quietly counting to 10, gray hairs, deadness behind the eyes

Being A Two Year Old is a condition that impacts nearly each one of us -- even if you've never realized it.

If you've ever had to circumvent the frozen foods section of your grocery store due to the blood-curdling screams from the ice cream aisle -- that's BATYO in action. If you've ever been minding your own business on a train or a bench or in a church and had your peaceful quiet interrupted by a little voice insisting IwanttowatchaDowah! that's BATYO too. And if you've ever seen a formerly lovely human person reduced to a puddle of silent weeping than she is likely the mother of a BATYO.

Sometimes it may feel like the BATYO is doing it as part of an elaborate prank, just to torture you, or perhaps you ran over a puppy in your past life.

These feelings are perfectly normal. Don't be ashamed; it is not your fault and you're not alone. Hope is out there.

FAQs
Is Being A Two Year Old Contagious? Will I catch it if I come in contact with one?
First of all, you can catch anything (including the plague) from a BATYO! Make sure your vaccinations are up to date!

Secondly, good question! It isn't uncommon for otherwise accomplished and self-possessed adults to begin displaying symptoms of Being A Two Year Old if they've been in the company of one for too long without a break. If you or someone you love becomes irritable when they can't ingest 50 string cheese in one sitting, expresses the futility of all existence when forced to say bye-bye to the ipad, or loses their mind completely at the first sound of the tubby... it's important to act quickly. Pick them up off the floor, shake the cheddar bunnies out of their hair, and immediately send them to a sensory deprivation chamber where they can be re-introduced into polite society by the calming lull of Carl Kasell's voice (or the movies. Or Target. Or a n y w h e r e. The point is to get them out of the house and away from anyone prone to weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth).

Is there any known cure for Being A Two Year Old?
Although scientists are engaged in compelling research, there is no cure at this time. Any and all behaviors associated with Being A Two Year Old (including every charming mispronunciation of the English language, every elated giggle at the sight of a puppy, every sweet kiss and gentle cuddle) will be replaced with behaviors congruent with Being A Three Year Old. The best "cure" is to buckle up and enjoy the ride; laugh as much as possible, vent when appropriate, and apply Twizzlers as needed.

How can I help?
The most important thing is to remain calm. A little BATYO is channeling the most primal part of the human psyche; in other words, they can smell fear and they will use it against you.

Being A Two Year Old is such an incredible display of raw humanity that it's only natural to stop everything you're doing and stare with mouth agape. This, however, is not helpful. The primary caregiver of someone Being A Two Year Old has likely read very many books on how to help her BATYO navigate this brave new world and although she's likely already meditated and prayed her way through the morning, she is likely feeling deeply embarrassed at the unplanned Spectacular Spectacular that is playing out before your eyes. Pointing and staring will only make matters worse. Additionally, shaking of the head, muttering parenting advice under your breath or trying to shout parenting advice over the screams of the little BATYO are also frowned upon. When appropriate, a word of comfort (I've been there) a gentle smile, or a well-timed eye roll may be offered if the screaming is too loud for other communication to take place.

Above all, it is important to remember that Being A Two Year Old is not easy. Treat them with as much compassion, patience, humor, silliness and kisses as humanly possible. Often a bear hug, a dance party, or a shiny object will restore unmitigated joy to their sweet little face (until they realize one of their socks has fallen off).

The most helpful thing you, or any one of us can do is to be aware that Being A Two Year Old is a real condition that should be met with tolerance and love. Although these behaviors seem annoying and disrupting to innocent bystanders -- try to remember that you were once a BATYO yourself (just ask your mama).

Just because you dont have a direct connection to the BATYO (or her mama) doesn't mean your attitude and behavior don't have an impact. These sweet BATYO angels will only learn how to be loving, tolerant, and respectful human beings if we treat them as such (even if they scream in your face when you try to give them an ice cream cone). It takes a village, people!

Although my darling daughter has an acute case of Being A Two Year Old, I feel confident that with love, patience (and perhaps a few Twizzlers) we will put this part of our lives behind us and go on to live ordinary and happy lives.

In the meantime, the next time you hear screams from somewhere near your grocer's freezer, light a candle and say a prayer: someone is Being A Two Year Old.

Recipe of the Week - Italian Red Potato Soup

Italian Red Potato Soup

by Katherine Einfalt on September 25th 2013

Recipe Description

A hearty soup that you can easily customize with different vegetables, herbs, meats, or other ingredients!

Preparation Instructions

Brown italian sausage in a large pot and add the celery, carrot, onion, and garlic. Let it cook, until the onions become translucent. Add the vegetable stock, herbs, salt, pepper, and potatoes and allow the soup to simmer for at least 1 hour. Add the whole milk and simmer for at least another hour. Add more salt, pepper, and herbs to taste if desired. Serve soup while hot and enjoy!

Ingredients

• 1 lb. italian sausage
• 1 cupCelery Finely Chopped
• 5 large Carrots, Finely Chopped
• 1 large Onion, finely chopped
• 2 cloves Garlic, Minced
• 4 cans (14 Oz. Size) Vegetable Stock
• ½ teaspoons Dried Dill
• ¼ teaspoons Dried Basil
• ¼ teaspoons Dried Parsley
• ¼ teaspoons Salt
• ¼ teaspoons White Pepper
• 16 whole Red Potatoes, Washed And Sliced
• 1 cup Whole Milk

Infants and Cognitive Thinking

Someone asked me the other day how old my son was when he started being able to understand what I said to him. I thought for a minute and realized that I hadn't really made a point to write down milestones for him. But I also realized that he was really young when he actually started being able to understand me and even react to try to answer my questions to me. 

Lucas at 6 days old

I told her that I think it was around 7 months when he seemed cognitive enough to really know what I was saying to him. Now I definitely want to stress that every child learns differently and they go through stages at different times. So when I tell you my view of my child, it doesn't mean that your child is behind the norm. or anything. 

I found it funny that one day in church, I was sitting by myself, with my three month old baby, and we were listening. Lucas started to get a bit fussy and I knew it was time for a feeding. I promptly asked him if he wanted to go and nurse. He communicated to me, by making a noise and looking at me, that told me that yes! he was hungry and he wanted it now! Now I know what you are thinking right now, how could a 3 month old possibly know how to communicate to me, and how could he possibly know what I was asking him? Well the people behind me didn't believe that he could understand me, and they even said afterwards to me that he really didn't know what I was saying. I laughed a little to myself and politely told them that I knew he could. Now this person, is a wonderful person, who had 6 children of herself that were all grown and most had children of their own. But she failed to realize that early cognitive behavior is possible.

I truly believe that he knew how to communicate with me, because I started early on (like from the time he was born), talking to him like I would talk to a two or three year old. This may sound funny, but that is what I did. In fact, even before he was born, I would hold my belly and talk to him. I would say things like "I can't wait to meet you", and "I love you". On the day he was born, and the moment they put him on my chest, I looked into his eyes and he looked right back at me. I said "hello! I'm your mommy!" I never stopped talking to him. When he was 5 days old he smiled at me for the first time, and he understood the love that I had for him. I would always ask when he was fussy if he was hungry. He didn't know how to answer me yet, but I was preparing him to know how. 

Imagine being thrown into a foreign land, where everyone only spoke a language to you that you don't know. You wouldn't understand them at all at first, but you would after they showed you over a few months what words meant. You wouldn't have been able to understand as quickly if no one would talk to you until six months after you were there. Your brain would have observed, but you wouldn't be able to pick up the language as quickly if people had started talking to you as soon as you got there. This is the exact same concept.

My son understood me really early on, because I didn't waste even a minute talking baby talk to him, I would always talk to him like he knew what I was saying. And eventually he understood me, and now today, as he is 19 months old, he communicates with me everyday. He says words that I don't realize he knew how to say them, and if you listen closely, he will communicate what he is thinking, out loud.

Just today, he wanted to draw, and he said "I daw?" And then when he was drawing he kept saying "blue!" and he loves to say purple, but he can't say it without me telling him the color first. And every time he is in his high chair eating, when he is done he says "I'm done." It really surprises me the things that he picks up on, even hearing things from my, like "here ya go" he says that one multiple times a day.

Here he was 5 months old

The key to early talkers and cognitive thinking is; giving the right amount of attention, spending time, telling your child what is going on at every possible moment, and speaking kind words to your child. They are learning everything new. You are giving them milk, they didn't know what that was before the first time they had it. Tell them what it is. Read to them! Reading to your child is just as important as talking to them. Never leave your baby out of the conversation. If there are people over, have your baby sit up on your lap and look at them. They will sit up a lot earlier if you don't have them laying down all the time. Bumbo seats are great for babies that are trying to strengthen their little tummy muscles. Also sitting them on your lap helps as well. 

Cognitive thinking is really important to start early, so that they can be set up in the very best way possible to learn how to read early and learn how to communicate their feelings early. 

My little sister reading to him at 6 months old

Next stop: Potty Training! Lucas is excited for his new potty seat that goes on the toilet! He always is interested in the toilet, and he tells me when his diaper is wet. If I don't have pants on him, he will almost always take his diaper off as soon as he has wet in it. 

Thank you for reading! I hope this was interesting to you. Please feel free to comment and ask questions or tell me about your experiences with potty training or anything! I love to read them. 

And again, I am not trying to tell you that my baby is better than yours, I am simply telling you things that you can do to help your child to be a cognitive thinker early in life. Help your child :D Love your child.

Happy Tuesday!

Here he is just 1 month old!

Grandpa Reading to Him 8 months old

family photos 8 months old (look at those teeth!

Finding the silver lining.

There are always going to be storm clouds in the sky. Its inevitable, the wind changes, weather comes and goes and it always comes back. In life, there are a lot of storms that roll through, and sunny days and a lot in between. We can't always carry an umbrella, occasionally we are going to have to get out feet wet. When the rains come, unless we are protected by that umbrella, we are going to be soaked. And even with an umbrella, we still get wet, just not as drenched.

Going through life without an umbrella for protection can be bad, because inevitably we are going to get sick from all of the water that soaks us to our core. You can't keep on going out in the rain and expect to not be affected by it. I love rain, it always seems to wash away the bad things, then the sun comes out and everything dries, we can see the change that happened because of it. Change comes easier when things are loose enough to be carried away with the rain. Change is good. Becoming fresh and new is refreshing and exciting!

Basically, in life, everyone goes through hard stuff, and if we let ourselves loosen up, then we can become better people after everything is said and done. If we choose to look within ourselves and see how we can become better, we can more fully see what we are supposed to learn from the trials that we go through. Nothing is random, everything happens for a reason. We do things and meet people that prepare us for something greater, later in our lives. Everything is connected and we can see that if we look close enough at our experiences.

Keeping a journal is a good idea when this occurs. When something big comes into our lives, we should record our feelings and actions then what becomes of it. Then we can look back and have a greater understanding of why we went through certain things, and how we changed and became better because of it.

Now I mentioned protection. This could mean a number of things to someone. For me, my protection is my wonderful husband, or my faith. When I keep my protectors close, and trials come at me, I can be more grounded, and not let it affect me as much as it would if I hadn't had those.

Everyone knows the story of the wise man and the foolish man, right? The wise man build his house upon the rock, and the foolish man built his house upon the sand, and when the wind and the rains came, the house that was built on sand washed away, and the house on the rock stood still. It also matters what your foundation is built upon. So with me, I have the faith that everything will be alright, as long as I have my family with me, or as long as I continue to pray to my Heavenly Father. Everything will be okay after the winds cease and the rain stops.



When I allow myself to trust others with my wellbeing and safety, I feel like there is hope after all, and I am safe to go through anything that decides to come my way. So even though my feet may get wet, and it will be difficult to hold my umbrella in the wind, I can make it through any storm, and I can become a better person, a stronger person.

I hope that when you have storms come into your life, that you are grounded, and that you carry with you in your heart a protection of sorts. I really hope that you will have the strength to carry on, even if things become too difficult to handle. Anything is possible! I promise you that! Nothing will be given to you that you can't fully handle, just be patient and never give up.

Thank you for reading, Happy Monday everybody! Keep your chin up, and look for a silver lining in every storm cloud of life. There is always something good to be found. Keep looking :)

First day of Fall!

Hello! I wanted to let you know, how much I love this time of the year. I even think that this may very well be my most favorite day of the year! September 22nd - the fist day of Autumn. I'm so excited for the leaves to start turning colors and I'm excited for pumpkin patches and hot apple cider. Days like today make me want to go camping! I love the perfect transition between summer and winter. Fall always makes me smile, and I am REALLY loving it!

When I had my son, I suffered from some really unpleasant post-pardom depression. This lasted a lot longer than it should have, but as life would have it, obsticles were thrown in my life, and it made my post-pardom depression worse. My son was born February 18th 2012, and it wasn't until this very month, September 2013, that I got my sanity back, and I finally feel like I can breathe and smile again. I really enjoy getting up out of bed in the mornings, as long as I can see the sun peaking through the clouds into my window, and smell the cold fresh air and feel it in my lungs. I love it! I am finally happy again! I'm not sure if it took this long, because of where we were living, but it sure changed quickly when we made the big decision to move 400+ miles to Provo, Utah. Thank God for Utah mountains and Utah fresh air!

I can smile again, I can play with my son and not feel like I just want to go crawl back into bed. I actually want to put make-up on and make lunch! I enjoy food again, and I have gotten back into actually cooking my family meals again. I have saved so much on food, now that I have decided to start cooking meals, instead of just picking something pre-made up. We are eating much healthier as well! We also eat more fruit, I didn't ever want it before. Now it makes me feel invigorated and I love me some honeydew melon!

Things are still difficult for us, but I keep fighting back. I will not let myself fall back into that dark place again. I want my children to have a happy mother who plays with them and keeps up on housework and does fun things with them. I want to get back into talking to people, I have been secluding myself for far too long. It is time to dress up and go out, and have fun!

Katherine's back, and ready to improve and grow more than ever!

I'm loving this feeling! Thank you September!!!

Thank you for reading! Have a wonderful week, I'll be back tomorrow :D and goodnight!

Thank you!

Despite the challenges that go on in my life, I know that I can always count on my family to keep on loving me. Despite any actions that I have done, that may or may not be agreed upon by my friends and family, they continue to love me and care for me. I forget that sometimes, and I go about my day thinking all is lost, but then I call them, and they remind me of that love that will always be there for me. I just wanted to say thank you! You are amazing friends and family, who continue to surprise me with your loyalty. I want to publicly thank those of you who have stood by me through it all.

I don't know where I would be without your help, with everything I have gone through in my life, it would have been impossible without you! Life is like a roller coaster, and you are my safety belt :) I just need to hold on and everything will be alright. (Well it does also help if I keep my arms and legs inside the ride at all times, but you get the idea.) Thank you for being there when I was at my lowest, and thank you for being there when I was my happiest. Thank you for even thinking of me once in your day, and thank you for calling me when you got a feeling that you should. Thank you for texting me, even though you have a busy day. Thank you for caring. I love you!

So I found a song that sums up my feelings that I have about you! Here's to you, and thank you for reading!:

"Over the past several years, I've faced some serious challenges in my life and without a shadow of doubt, there's no way I could have made it through without the love and compassion of my friends and family. This song is dedicated to you. Thank you for the love you gave!"

Thank you, by Brandin Reed

Marriage :P

I have been thinking a lot about marriage lately. I have had friends get married, and I have had friends get divorced. I think marriage is really a huge deal, and it is a very important and sacred thing.

In order for me to be able to function as a good mother, I really have to be happy in my marriage. I am not bashing on those single mom's out there by any means, however, I give huge props to them for being so amazing to parent children without a husband. I just cannot see myself being capable of the very best without my amazing husband by my side. He is the other half to my heart, and without my whole heart, it would be very difficult for me to function, let alone be a good parent.

So I found this interesting blog this man who was recently divorced had written. My father actually posted it online, go figure, he is always posting helpful and insightful articles that I really enjoy reading. It is really aimed toward a man, within a marriage, but I think you will get a lot out of it. (Especially you men reading this :D) Anyway I loved it so much, I'm just going to share it with you:

20 Marriage Tips Everyone Needs to Know

August 26, 2013In the News

Below are 20 wise marriage tips from a man that was recently divorced. You wouldn’t normally think that a divorced man would give good advice on being a husband, but this man has been through enough hardship to know what is worth fighting for:

MARRIAGE ADVICE I WISH I WOULD HAVE HAD:

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had…

1) Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5) IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7) NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

Allow your woman to JUST BE. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9) BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10) FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAY… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

11) BE PRESENT. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12) BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13) DON’T BE AN IDIOT…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14) GIVE HER SPACE… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15) BE VULNERABLE… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17) NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18) DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19) FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20) ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end MARRIAGE isn’t about Happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.

Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late.

But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I LOVED being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

The woman that told him ‘I do’, and trusted her life with him, has been waiting for this man to step up.

If you are reading this and your marriage isn’t what you want it to be, take 100% responsibility for YOUR PART in marriage, regardless of where your spouse is at, and commit to applying these lessons while there is time.

MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE : Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you.

Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.

Source

I hope you enjoyed this wonderful advice to keep your marriage alive, and thank you for reading. Happy Friday night!

What happened to reading books and playing outside?

I took the kids to the library today, and they went a little crazy. Instead of reading books and sitting at the tables doing puzzles, all they wanted to do was play on the computers, which weren't on, and so they played with the keyboards.. I kept trying to get books and have them sit and read with me, but all they wanted to do was run around and be loud.

When I was little, I remember going to the library and loving the books! I would get my siblings together and we would sit down and read. Then we would have the occasional puppet show and it was always really fun. We would run around in the back yard playing cops and robbers, dress up in my dad's army uniform and it was a lot of fun. I even remember playing poker (haha) on the back porch with my big brother. Other things we would do, is go around and have a taste test game, putting things on each others tongues and they other person had to guess what they were tasting. I put a beef bullion cube on my big brothers tongue, and we didn't play that game after that. Haha. But we played house, hide and go seek, even had tea parties in the bushes. We played with squirt guns and went camping.

What happened to that? Computers happened. By the time I was out of elementary school, everyone had a cell phone in their pocket and everyone wanted to play computer games. Books? They are becoming outdated and I think it is sad. Now people (even CHILDREN) have iPads and game consoles and cell phones, and they have less books and swing sets and imagination. Kids don't go outside anymore, because they are too busy playing video games or watching tv. Thats why child obesity is going up in this country. Thank you DVD players and cell phone companies.



So PLEASE take your children to the park, and the library. Please play with them, like your parents did with you! Don't let them drain their brain power in front of a television. Have them explore outside, take them camping, play card games. Take a week and say no electronics. You must, or the fate of our country will be devastatingly more terrible than it already is. Bring back imagination! Turn off the TV and go for a run or walk and get some jump ropes and play hop scotch! Get some sidewalk chalk, before it is too late! THIS IS SERIOUS PEOPLE! :D

Anyway that is my rant for the week. Thank you for reading!

Recipe of the Week - Meatloaf Muffins

I have been wanting to make meatloaf lately, and I found this awesome recipe. I hope you enjoy it as well!

Meatloaf In A Muffin Pan

Ingredients:

•    1.75 pounds minced beef tenderloin
•    1 large onion, chopped into chunks
•    2 thick and tender celery stalks, chopped
•    1 green bell pepper
•    1 egg and 1/4 cup of milk, beaten
•    1 cup bread crumbs
•    2 tbsp steak-on-the-grill seasoning
•    1 cup smoked bbq sauce
•    1/2 cup salsa
•    1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
•    *green bean and bacon
•    * cream cheese mashed potatoes

*optional side dishes to serve with meatloaf

Directions:

1.     Preheat oven to 450 degrees F.

2.     Put minced meat into a big bowl.

3.     Mix onion and celery into a food processor.

4.     Slice pepper, throw into food processor and pulse until pepper is finely chopped.

5.     Add the peppers, along with the beaten eggs, bread crumbs, seasoning into the bowl of minced meat.

6.     Mix bbq sauce, salsa and Worcestershire sauce in a separate bowl.

7.     Put in half of the sauce in the meat-mix bowl.

8.     Mix with contents clean hands.

9.     Grease muffin tray (it should have 12 cups).

10.  Fill each cup halfway with the meatloaf mix.

11.  On each “muffin”, pour the remaining sauce.

12.  Bake for approx. 20 minutes.

13.  Check to see if the meat is cooked (make a slice in the middle).

 Source: homesteadsurvival.blogspot.com