You are More Beautiful than you Think

Choice and Power to Choose

I have been thinking a lot lately about agency. Specifically the agency of my 20 month old son, who continues to learn and grow through his experiences. Sometimes I just let him do what he wants, just to see what the outcome will be, and then I will tell him not to do something after, so that he can see the affects of his actions.

Everyone has the power to make their own decisions, and one of the biggest things I remember, from when I was growing up, is that my parents would never force me to do anything. That has stuck with me my whole life. Yes there are boundaries, and limits that are put into force. And yes there are consequences for every action. It is my job as a parent, to help my children learn how to live on their own, and be in charge of their own actions and lives.

So how do I help my son make the right decisions, that will benefit him, and help him to be a good father and husband, and person in general? How do I deal with him making bad choices, including getting into things that make a mess, or drawing on anything other than paper, or anything else that he does, as he is learning, and calmly help him to choose not to do those things?

"The decisions we make, individually and personally, become the fabric of our lives. That fabric will be beautiful or ugly according to the threads of which it is woven. I wish to say particularly to the young men who are here that you cannot indulge in any unbecoming behavior without injury to the beauty of the fabric of your lives. Immoral acts of any kind will introduce an ugly thread. Dishonesty of any kind will create a blemish. Foul and profane language will rob the pattern of its beauty."

~ Gordon B. Hinckley, This Work Is Concerned with People, Conference, April 1995

"Because the eternal principle of agency gives us the freedom to choose and think for ourselves, we should become increasingly able to solve problems. We may make the occasional mistake, but as long as we are following gospel principles and guidelines, we can learn from those mistakes and become more understanding of others and more effective in serving them."

~ M. Russell Ballard, O Be Wise, Conference, October 2006

Time

Some times I wonder why I let my weeks or months slip by, without actively choosing to change or become better. I simply let myself continue stagnant, unchanging and without wanting to make a difference. Other times I realize that my life must serve a purpose, and I must continue to grow and change. Also, my life never ceases moving, and I must try to catch up, and make it to the next bus stop of life.

People move on, get married, start families, move away, grow up. Time is always fleeting, and I believe it is actually getting faster and faster as time progresses to a certain point. Men are taller now than they have ever been, living longer than they have lived in a long time, and learning differently than ever before. People communicate in such a different way than they used to, they occupy their time less efficiently, they are changing, and things are becoming worse and worse, as dictators take over countries, wars ensue, natural disasters occur, and more and more people are dying now more than ever.

Now is the time to take charge of our lives. Now is the time to make a difference in someone's life. Now is the time to set out to change the course of everything. Don't let time pass by without trying to move forward, become better, learn something new, and improve relationships and fix issues. Now is the time, and I can see something big, quickly coming upon us. Be prepared for something to shake your very core. Be strong enough to fight, and be ready to help. Please do not let another minute go by, as everything is about to come crashing down.

Music is the Key to the Heart

I am definitely very musically oriented. I love listening to various artists when I do practically everything in my life. I need music to boost my creativity, boost my good mood, sing to my son, dance to, clean to, relax in the bath, shut everything out, bring good thoughts in, remember good times, and sing. Singing makes my every fiber tingle. I love the feeling I get from singing an amazing song with lots of people around me. I love how the sound resonates around me and enriches my soul.

Lucas, my 20 month old little boy, loves music almost as much as I do. I like to put it on, instead of turning on the tv. He loves dancing to fun music and he even loves alternative rock as well as classical music. He loves his Primary music and always asks me to sing another one after I finish singing. When he was a little baby, he would always sing along with the music in church, because everyone else was singing, he always loved to join in. I am excited when he can talk better, and he will be able to sing songs with me.

So I have been thinking about how I can add more and more music into our life, and I have started making playlists, to play at certain times. I love it! When it is time to relax, I will put on some relaxing piano music, and when it is time to play, I will put on playtime music. I can't wait until it gets closer to Christmastime and I can play Christmas music all the time. Lucas is going to have such a great Christmas experience, it'll be his favorite time of the year!! <3

Here are a few music videos I have really good memories with :) Enjoy and thank you for reading!

Blah!!!

I think the terrible two's are getting to me. Lucas, who will be two in February, now has daily tantrums and it makes my life difficult on a daily basis. I feel sorry for all of the daycare providers out there who have to deal with this from multiple children on a daily basis as well. I cannot imagine having even two kids who throw themselves on the floor over nothing, who make me question my competence as a mother.

I even do things I always said I never would do. I have given in and let Lucas watch movies, because it it pretty much the only thing that calms him down. I can now quote Finding Nemo to the tee. I only hope that when the tantrums are over and done with, that I can banish the television from my children. I would love to give them puzzles and play dough and read books and play make believe. I am slowly limiting the number of hours in a day that I'll let him veg in front of the tv, because I know that when he does watch it, he is not learning how to communicate, and I really hope it doesn't lead to ADDD or laziness.

I feel like a bad mother sometimes, even though I know that I try to be there for my son. I always change his diapers and make sure he is washed and fed. I should read to him more, and not give in to his whining and cave whenever he throws a tantrum. Hopefully this phase will be short lived. Its days like these, I'm glad I am unable to have another baby at this point in time. I don't know if I could handle the stress and hormones and the upset child screaming. I have enough anxiety at the moment. I only hope these stresses become something better very soon.

Thank you reading. If you have any ideas for me as to what to do about limiting this time, they would be greatly appreciated, please comment below the post. It's Saturday!!

Perfect Fall Day

Today was a good day! I woke up and wanted to get out of bed :) Lucas and I went for a walk to go meet Josh when he got out of work. It was an early release day for his school, so we walked to meet him. Of corse I left too early and met him just outside his work haha, I somehow always do that. But, I like to be early, its better than being too late that I miss it all together.

I got dishes done and some laundry. My apartment is clean and I even wrote some thank you notes and put them in the mail. It is 55 degrees outside, which is perfect for a walk, plus the sun was really amazing and came out to see me. It was the perfect walk. It is about a 30 minute walk to Josh's work, so I got in an hour of exercise. My legs are feeling great. I think I may even feel the fat cells in my legs popping lol.

Anyway, I need to get back to working on my little animals that I have been making out of paper mache. And I can hear Lucas playing in his crib instead of napping haha. Today is a good day.

Bee Yourself!

I have been really kinda struggling lately, with my life and with my emotions. It just seems like I'm on an emotional roller coaster, and I really wish it would just slow down sometimes. But as life would have it, it keeps moving and changing. This week went by in the blink of an eye, maybe I should say, the last 5 years have gone in the blink of an eye! I cannot believe how quickly time can get away from me, and I also cannot believe how much I have personally changed in the last 5 years!

Back to the struggling though, I recently moved 400+ miles away from my hometown, to Provo, Utah. My husband and I decided to move, to Utah, because we felt drawn to it. We loved the idea of God being so prevalent here, and we wanted to raise our children in a loving atmosphere, especially seeing the current state of schools where we were living when we first got married. So I sent Josh off to get a job out in Orem, Utah back in December last year, and he was offered a job right off the bat.

I moved out to be with him once our lease was up and we had some time to save money and everything for the move to Provo. Josh worked there, as a temporary employee for not even 4 months and his company bought out another company, and despite him being promised that his job was "safe" from the layoffs, he was laid off. We struggled for about three weeks and a few more after that, just getting caught up on bills, and he found another temporary job, through his temp. agency, working at a warehouse shipping place, that was similar to his previous job. A month and a half went by and his temporary job was up, and they no longer have any more work for him to do. So, again, we struggled some more. By this time, we had trouble paying bills and everything was slowly running out. Thankfully, a month ago, Josh found a permanent job at the Provo School District, working with kids who need some extra assistance going to class and getting their work done. He loves his job, and although I am always fearful to get a phone call telling me that he is unemployed again, I am really excited for this new job. Josh has always loved working with teenagers, and he actually hopes to go on after he gets his Bachelor's degree, to get his teaching license.

On top of all of this, because we were getting caught up on bills, we were able to pay our rent, but not on time, so we have to find a new place of residence. Our kind landlords are letting us stay in the apartment (still paying rent of course) until they find new tenants to take over our lease. Needless to say, my life has been stressful for quite a bit of time. It has made me consider going back to work, and having Lucas in daycare, but I am very reluctant to do so, because I love raising my child, and I feel like it is the best thing for him, to be with me and learn what I teach him. I feel it is my calling in life, motherhood, and so I know that God will provide a way for us to stay afloat, and as I have seen so far, we are still alive, we ate dinner tonight, our power is still on, and we are warm and safe.

Yes we have no money to buy Christmas presents, or go on dates, but we have each other, and we are all alright. It is times like these that make me realize how much I am truly blessed, with a loving and supportive husband, a smart little man who grows more and more everyday, loving parents who care even if they don't always show it, awesome friends who look forward to seeing me, and my love for life. I know that my Father who is in Heaven truly looks out for me and provides a way for me to be happy. Even on the worst days, I see Him giving me little assurances that He is there for me.

I should pray more than I do. Lucas reminds me to pray before we eat meals, and I am so thankful for him. I love being a mother!

A friend of mine said this:

Be authentic, and unapologetic. You are who you are, you are the mommy that you are, and there is no need to defend that to anyone. Be yourself and feel no need to apologize or hide who you are. You are awesome, just the way you are.     -Courtney Huffman

She is so correct. I don't need to hide my stress, and if people want to give me crap for them, then I don't need to listen to them. I am who I am, and I am going through stuff, the last thing I need is to hide my true self. I love the person I am, and I am excited to become the person who I will be after all of this is over. Then we'll be on to another adventure. And I can guarantee that it will be difficult as well. But I know that it is worth it. I am thankful for my trials in life! They have made me who I am today.

I am not against anyone bringing me random cookies or baked goods in this time of need however haha! Thank you for reading. Its Thursday!!

Craft of the Week - Cute Fall Pumpkin Centerpiece by Dinah Wulf

Fall Pumpkin Centerpiece #turkeytablescapes

by Dinah Wulf

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This Fall Pumpkin Centerpiece tutorial is sponsored by Jo-Ann Fabric & Craft Stores.  All opinions are 100% my own.

I’m pretty much a regular at Jo-Ann’s…at several locations!  This year for fall, they had a great line of Autumn Inspirations that really sparked some ideas.  In particular, I love the hints of dark navy blue.  Blue isn’t a color that I would normally associate with Thanksgiving time; however I just realized how beautiful it looks with other fall colors.

I decided to make a fall pumpkin centerpiece for my #TurkeyTableScape this year!  You can get all of the supplies at Jo-Ann’s. 

Here is shopping list of what you’ll need:

• Craft pumpkin
• Sharp craft knife
• Floral foam block
• Burlap scraps
• Assortment of Autumn Inspirations decorative picks

I started off with this craft pumpkin.  I wanted a small one for my table this year because my husband and I are having a small intimate Thanksgiving for four this year.  Our families are both out of state so it’ll just be us!

First, I cut off the top.  This particular pumpkin is all Styrofoam.  If you buy a regular craft pumpkin, they are typically hollow. 

If your pumpkin is hollow, you can use a floral foam block to place inside the pumpkin after you cut it.

Next, I simply arranged my assortment of decorative picks inside the pumpkin.  I love the mix of blue feathers.  These particular decorative picks are great, because they look very realistic.

Lastly, for a more finished look, I added some burlap around the bottom of the arrangement.  I always check the remnants section at Jo-Ann’s for fabric like this.

Here are a few AFTER photos! Notice the burlap  feather napkin rings I made too!

Be sure to check out Jo-Ann’s craft catalog for more DIY inspiration.  To help get you started on your next project, enjoy this 50% off coupon good until November 30, 2013!

http://www.diyinspired.com/fall-pumpkin-centerpiece-turkeytablescapes/

"What every 4 year old should know."

My sister posted this to her Facebook, I'm not sure where it came from, but I love it so I thought I'd share it with you, my readers. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below the post. Thanks!

I was on a parenting bulletin board recently and read a post by a mother who was worried that her 4 1/2 year old did not know enough. “What should a 4 year old know?” she asked. Most of the answers left me only saddened but pretty soundly annoyed. One mom posted a laundry list of all the things her son knew. Counting to 1—, planets, how to… write his first and last name, and on and on. Others chimed in with how much more their children already knew, some who were only three. A few posted URL’s to lists of what each age should know. The fewest yet said that each child develops at his own pace and not to worry.

It bothered me greatly to see mothers responding to a worried mom by adding to her concern, with lists of all the things their children could do that her’s couldn’t. We are such a compettitive culture that even our pre-schoolers have become trophies and bragging rights. Childhood shouldn’t be a race. So here, I offer my list of what a 4 year old should know.

She should know that she is loved wholly and unconditionally, all of the time.

He should know that he is safe and he should know how to keep himself safe in public, with others, and in varied situations. He should know that he can trust his instincts about people and that he never has to do something that he doesn’t feel right, no matter who is asking. He should know his personal rights and that his family will back him up.

she should know how to laugh, act silly, be goofy, and use her imagination. She should know that it is always okay to paint the sky orange and give cats 6 legs.

He should know his own interests and be encouraged to follow them. If he couldn’t care less about learning his numbers, his parents should realize he’ll learn them accidentally soon enough and let him immerse himself instead in rocket ships, drawing, dinosaurs or playing in the mud.

She should know that the world is magical and that so is she. She should know that she’s wonderful, brilliant, creative, compassionate and marvelous. She should know that it’s just as worthy to spend the day outside making daisy chains, mud pies and fairy houses as it is to practice phonics. Scratch that- way more worthy.

But more important, here’s what parents need to know.

That every child learns to walk, talk, read and do algebra at his own pace and that it will have no bearing on how well he walks, talks, reads or does algebra.

That the single biggest predictor of high academic achievement and high ACT scores is reading to children. Not flash cards, not workbooks, not fancy preschools, not blinking toys or computers, but mom or dad taking the time every day or night (or both!) to sit and read them wonderful books.

That being the smartest or most accomplished kid in class has never had any bearing on the happiest. We are so caught up in trying to give our children “advantages” that we’re giving them lives as multi-tasked and stressful as ours. One of the biggest advantages we can give out children is a simple, carefree childhood. 

That our children deserve to be surrounded by books, nature, art supplies and the freedom to explore them.

That our children need more of us. We live in a time when parenting magazines recommend trying to commit 10 minutes a day with each child and scheduling one Saturday a month as family day. That is not enough! Our children don’t need Nintendos, computers, after school activities, ballet lessons, play groups and soccer practice nearly as much as they need US. They need fathers who sit and listen to their days, mothers who join in and make crafts with them, parents who take the time to read to them and stories and act like idiots with them. They need is to take walks with them and not mind the .1 MPH pace of a toddler on a Spring night. They deserve to help us make supper even though it takes twice as long and makes it twice as much work. They deserve to know that they’re a priority for us and that we truly love to be with them.

Why I am a Stay at Home Mommy

Some may find my job boring or pointless, they even may say I am lazy or I just don't want to work. Well I am here to tell you today, my reasons behind why I choose to stay at home to raise my children. Not first let me tell you, that I do not tell you this to say that I am better than anyone in anyway, nor do I tell you to make you feel like my life is better. Please take this as educational, simply to let you know why I have chosen this for my family.

I honestly think I was born to be a mother. I felt like as I was growing up, the traits I acquired and the talents I learned, were simply to be a good mother, and wife. I have always loved cleaning the kitchen, and folding laundry. I love to organize and I really enjoy being at home and being creative. I have had jobs in the past, that I enjoyed, but all I could think of as I was working, was my job. When I became a mother, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It was like I waited to be a mother this long and now it was finally happening and I loved it. I love the feeling of love and appreciation from my son, as I help him learn and grow. I get paid in kisses and hugs, and that to me, is worth more than a paycheck that I could ever earn working outside my home. 

I choose to stay at home with my son, because I want him to learn from me, and not a book, or ignored by a daycare provider. I control his diet, naps, friends, and exposure. I know how imaginative my son is, and I hear his every word that he says. There is nothing that I miss when I stay at home with him, and when we have other children, I will do the same, and I will adore every minute of every day of it. I love doing crafts, playing with plato, coloring with crayons and playing batman and superman with my son. He makes me laugh, and cry. I love this life.

Granted it is difficult at times, to make ends meet. Since women started into the workforce, it made it more and more difficult to live on a one income budget. But, with coupons and free cycle, things are made easier, as well as help from my Heavenly Father who looks out for me and provides opportunities for my husband to make a little extra money on the side, to pay for unexpected things that show up in our lives. 

I choose to be poor, because I know that I am helping my child by teaching him to make do with what he has, and not be picky or unhappy. Yes I spoil my son and let him have things that he loves, but I don't have to spend a fortune on things, and he is a happy little boy. We have one car, and my husband walks to work most days to save money. My husband is in school, and I just finished my Associates Degree. We set goals and achieve them. I truly believe that my purpose in life is to be a mother, and God makes everything work out and possible.

So, now you know. I am not lazy, I stay at home, and I am happy. Thank you for reading. Please do what makes your happy.

Artist of the Week - James Blunt

I came across this song, and really enjoyed it. I used to listen to James Blunt when I was younger, and I loved his music. Here is a song that is relatively new and really great. Enjoy :D

Recipe of the Week - Crock Pot Pumpkin Bread!

I have so been craving pumpkin everything this month, and I found this really awesome recipe from Momswithcrockpots.com. I am going to make it today :) Enjoy! and Happy November!!



Crock Pot Pumpkin BreadAuthor: Amanda CarlisleRecipe type: BreadPrep time:  15 minsCook time:  3 hoursTotal time:  3 hours 15 minsServes: 6-8 Ingredients

• ½ cup of oil

• ½ cup of sugar

• ½ cup of packed brown sugar

• 2 eggs (beaten)

• 1 15oz can of pumpkin

• 1½ cup of flour (sifted)

• ¼ tsp. of salt

• ½ tsp. of cinnamon

• ½ tsp. of nutmeg

• 1 tsp. of baking soda

Instructions

1. In a mixer beat the oil and both of the sugars together.

1. Then, stir in the beaten eggs and canned pumpkin. Add the remaining dry ingredients and mix thoroughly.

1. Pour the batter into a greased and floured loaf pan.

1. Add two cups of water to your large crockpot and place the pan into a crock pot. This works best with a 5qt or more crockpot, check that the pan fits before you place the bread dough inside.

1. Cover the top of the crockpot with several paper towels. This prevents the condensation from making the bread soggy.

1. Place the crock pot lid on top of the crockpot (holding the paper towels in place.) Bake on high 2½ to 3 hours.

Thinking...

Today I have been thinking about how much we, as humans rely on other's for basic needs of communication. I look at how much I let my son watch television when I'm not feeling well, and I think that I should be talking to him and reading to him, because we BOTH need that person to person communication from each other. Yes I am one of those moms who tend to stay cooped up in her house doing nothing but housework and playing inside with her kids.

But I forget that we all need that human contact, oftentimes more than just with our kids. I was thinking about how in movies, the moms go to the park to talk to other moms. Why haven't I done this? It seems like when I do go, everyone keeps to themselves and doesn't want to interact. So how do we get the message out there that moms should talk to other moms? Is it because we are taught not to talk to strangers, and therefore everyone around us is strange and should be ignored?

I will randomly get a feeling to call someone, often it is not someone whom I would regularly call or talk to, but I call them anyway. Perhaps it is because they are in need of some other person to help them with communication, and I feel them reaching out "someone please notice me."

My son shows some signs of being able to empathically connect with others. He will notice when something is off with someone he is around, and will give them a hug or a toy. I hope that when he gets older this trait will increase and be strengthened. I hope that I can teach him to care about others, and not discriminate, even if it someone he sees at the store whom he doesn't know, or a friend who he sees all the time. I love my sweet little boy, and I am excited to see him grow into himself and become an amazing man, and son, whom I will be proud of.

I love interpersonal communication, and I will never stop trying to make other's days better. Please let me know, as my readers, if I can be there for you in any way. I truly have enough love for everyone who wants it.