Musings of a Creative Mommy: Makes Friends Easily

I always wanted to have that quality, "makes friends easily," it just seems like a good quality to have. The ability to walk into a room, choose someone, and suddenly have this life long friendship that is instantaneous and amazing. Somehow, I think I either got the definition wrong, or perhaps it takes two people who have that trait, to suddenly become "best friends" and then it makes the whole thing a little obsolete.

I was thinking today, as I watched my son run around and laugh and play with one of his favorite little boys, and I realized that they are best friends, and they have been, since they met (when they were babies) and I thought to myself, how amazing it would be to have a friend who has been there, since nearly the beginning of your existence, on this planet, who makes you laugh and who you love to be around. It is almost like we (his mother and I) created a friendship that will last forever (hopefully) and at the same time, we are teaching our children to know and understand from a very young age, what it means to be a friend, and what it means to care about someone who you don't live with or see everyday.

Lucas isn't just friends with anyone he comes into contact with, though. I will have you know that he becomes very possessive with his toys sometimes when a little boy, who is older than him comes over. He is shy around others, but when it comes to babies, he always wants to go to them and see them, give them toys, and make them smile. There have been a couple of times when we were at church, and he will go up to another child, his age or not, and he will play with them. It is so cute seeing him be friendly. There are other children, who he stays away from and he doesn't want to be their friend, even if they come up to him. I wonder what the difference in his perception, when it comes to being friendly because he wants to or shy because he wants to be shy.

But this little boy, his name is Kyson, when he comes over, Lucas always says "hi!" and wants to play with him. Now I'm not saying their friendship is perfect, Lucas still has dominion over his toys (haha) but he definitely shares them with him, and Kyson is good about sharing with Lucas as well. I have never seen such a close friendship in such young children. Lucas is a month and ten days younger than Kyson, and he will turn two in February next year. This is the age where it can be very difficult to learn to share things. They never fight, they always work things out. They share, and make sure that the other one is alright. When I put my son down for naps, and he cries (only sometimes, but mostly when Kyson is over) Kyson will stand by his door, and listen, looking concerned for his buddy. I assure him that he is alright, and that he is just taking a nap.

I love watching Kyson for my friend Kylie, because he is so sweet and quiet when he comes over. They play and have so much fun. They even talk to each other. Kylie and I will go to the store together sometimes and take the boys and we will have our carts side by side, and they will want to hold hands. It is so funny sometimes, how much they like to be around each other.

How do I as a parent, learn how to teach Lucas to pick good friends, when he becomes older? Because Kyson is growing up with Lucas, but what happens when he is going to public school, and making friends here and there, what is to say he will make the right friends? What is to say he will stay friends with Kyson, I mean I definitely want that for him, but I can't control what happens (to a certain extent).

I ask this, because I know, that the right friends can make you better, and the wrong friends can hurt you and make you do things that you don't even realize. The influences that I want my children to be learning from, should be good influences, so that they can stay strong people. Friends are extremely important for the growth and well being of anyone.

I thought to myself, what makes a good friend? What kind of a person, should my child be, first, to attract such a friend, and what attributes should be sought out? This may be an obvious answer to some, but I like to write things out, and get it all out there, so it is all visible and able to work better somehow.

When I think of my really awesome friends, the qualities I see in them are a huge part of why we are able to remain friends, and I'm sure that the only way they can rely on me, is because of the traits that I have that they look for in a friend. Here are some of those features that a great friend has and is capable of, (in no particular order)

active listener
conversation starter
genuinely happy or fun personality
honesty is huge for them
loves their spouse or significant other, and is faithful to them (because if they are not faithful to them, they are not honest, nor are they going to be a true friend)
uplifting and can see when they are affecting the moods of others
wants to make others around them happier
has time that they use wisely, and can still make time for others
calls, just to talk
answers a phone call, because they want to help
would drop anything in an instant to help someone they care about
cares about what they look like, and loves themselves, (in a healthy way)
sees when others are not themselves and offers to help
enjoys spending time laughing and talking for hours
goes out of their way to say hi, at church or somewhere out of context (like the store or anywhere)
has a creative side
enjoys window shopping
visibly happy, even when it is hard for them
opens up at the right time
cares
never forgets
non-judgmental
not easily offended or provoked
forgives, because no one is perfect 100% of the time
gives encouragement
loves children, and if they are a mother, they are kind to their children
always striving to improve themselves
loves nature
loves music
loves rain :)
loves to help wherever they are needed

Jacques Delille said, "Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends." Becoming a good friend, and finding a good friend takes skill, and that skill will grow with practice. So I have made good progress with Lucas, helping him have a good friend so early in life, now to help him create good qualities within himself, so that he can be an amazing friend and find others like him. Perhaps it will even help him to find a spouse, whom I will love, because she will have those good qualities that I will teach him to have and search for in someone.

So, I ask you, my readers, what qualities do you look for in a friend, and do you have those yourself? Can you add to my list? What qualities do you look for in a friend? Please comment and share with me your thoughts :) All mothers want what is best for their children. I am just getting a head start in the friendship department. Thank you for reading, HAPPY TUESDAY!

Here is a video of Lucas and Kyson today, interacting with each other.

and here are a few photos that I found of them :)